WHY THE T IS A CAPITAL ONE!!!

2008-07-29T18:50:00.000-07:00

ALL OR NOTHING!!!!!

2008-06-07T17:20:00.000-07:00

hmmmmm when is enough,

when do you call it a day,

feel like a should drop a smoke bomb,

with a big enough cloud for me to jus disappear for ever.

hmmm it snot like life wouldn't go on,

i'll be missed but only for a period of time,

any way a done cause wen it comes down to it i wud miss me,

and thats wat really matters!!!

2008-04-02T20:59:00.000-07:00

jus Hmmmmmmm.........

Hmmmmmmmm

jus

Hmmmmm........

2008-03-18T18:59:00.000-07:00

Jus sayin again

Hmmmmmmm
feeling empty
lost
the days get harder and harder!!!
sometimes a feel like escaping
just pack ma stuff find an island an live!!!
dont kno maybe one day i get a break from this life!!!
but for now as previously stated i will take it day by day

2008-03-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

my own comforting words!!!

Hmmmmm,
Wondering

gotta deal wid i
gotta push thru,
im a make it

i know i will!!!

2008-03-07T13:07:00.000-08:00

Best Girlfriend Alive!!!

Em mm ... mm .... mm

dum! dum!

mm mmm mm

Best girlfriend alive!!!

mm mmm mmm em mmm dum dum!!!.

2008-03-01T16:16:00.000-08:00

jus saying- (no real point)

im angry
im tired
im frustrated
im annoyed

Why dont i just give up?
on every blasted thing!!!
i dont know
i really dont know.

but everything shud work out rite?
its possible, but not by magic
or sitting on my ass and waiting for it to fix it self.
nope, wont happen!
nor is everything fixed over night
time, i will take my time
but i'll damned if im to be walked over by anyone
ever again.
im proud of myself im really proud.
i feel that i can stand up for myself and do it confidentaly
im growing up, making sense of more things
i really wish everyone wud do the same and grow up!!!
and realize everything is wat you make it, everything and
everything is done in moderation
a balanced is to be maintained,
and also sarifices to be made
even wen you find them hard to make!!!
but one step at time rite one step at a time
day by day!!!

2008-01-21T22:14:00.001-08:00

Do I

do i really wont to see
do i really want to hear
do i want to smell

why not
why wouldn't i want to see the beauty life holds
the sunrise and set, watch my children grow
why not
why wouldn't i want to hear birds in the morn.
hear the trickling of streams, or my children laugh
why not
why wouldn't i want to smell clean fresh air
or better yet that "new baby smell"

why wouldn't i?

you know, i have no idea why i wouldn't
but as i my eyes fill, and as my ears bleed and my nos trills burn
i some how hear, see and breathe clearly,
the world changes its position every second
and yet nothing changes.
the smoke burns my eyes,
fumes burn my nose
n toxins, force the life force from my ears
I'M BEING POISONED
by the people who i turn, the ones who i expect to save me
its clear now
I'm the only one who can save me

2008-01-21T21:41:00.001-08:00

Mid- Season Press Conference

i take the ball in my own hands
and i play the game how i want it
and lose and win my own way
no one will ever drop my ball again
for i will become a ball hog
player coach, player manager, player fan!!!
and train, lead and cheer my team on!!!
for i do i it my way on my terms, how i want it
and yet i live a lie
i scouted for a new player one who i believe will get me that championship ring!!!
sure the make a bad pass now again,
they turnover the ball,
miss the easy shot
but there always there to contest a shot,
make that crucial tackle,
save a crucial shot
and for that i still keep them on my team,
and i pay them well, and will all i have to give.
i hope their OK with the pay check, for i don't want to trade them, and i hope the they don't want to play for other team
well the season has been great so its had its ups and own but great so far, i don't wanna ginx the rest of the season but i predict a championship in the future thus
i see no need to change my stating line up
and i can only hope for team work,
good sportsmanship,
and many more seasons to come
thank you!!!

coach Thompson wait
one more question......
do you think think this is the team you think you will retire with

well i hope so! , i really hope so

2008-01-21T21:20:00.000-08:00

Just Don't Know!!!

i have no clue
i have no idea
incapable of reasoning
i am completely with doubt
completely unsure
I HAVE NO CLUE

but i do have time
time to obtain clues
sharpen my reasoning skills
remove doubt from my mind
reassure myself through time

i will obtain all answers
make opaque clear
reveal the truth that is,
as long as the truth is real
i will take my chances
second guess nothing
question everything
i am, who i am
so take me for me and all that i am
guessing everything
questioning nothing
i give my all, 100 percent
and some how even more
give me nothing for i want it not,
but i will take all of you and all you've got
i will think of you always so............
so forget me not!!!

moments will past, and knowledge i gain
joyful for the truth, but some knowledge brings pain
i stand firm and strong praying for no wrong.
i have expressed my self, and now i must go
and wait for the truth, for in the end I STILL DON'T KNOW!!!

2008-01-14T19:50:00.000-08:00

Just Felt It!!!!

i feel how i feel
when i feel it i cant explain it i just do
i reach out, and hope someone helps me.
thus i have my moments , just like everyone else
everyone needs help sometimes, right?
i feel that at times im too needy.
yes i am!!!!! due to my insecurities, wants n needs
but i will not make any more excuses
or blame myself or feel terrible for pleading my case
or for wanting what i feel i deserve!!!!
how i feel should always be at the top of my list,
for if i dont understand my own feelings
how can i understand someone Else's,
theres to much of others and not me,
or is it the other way round
am i the selfish one
only time will tell i guess
I've been hurt caring less bout myself
and more bout others
thats always gonna be me a guess
(this writing thing is like venting)
ive gotten smarter, thus getting hurt less
(wish some of ma friends tried that)
found someone who i hope would have been a little more understanding
but in that is the good part, (even though its like nature to want to just make someone feel better when you feel its you fault), this person is not so understanding because that person is REAL!!!
their more intact with how they feel sometimes a wish i could be as strong as them, and man
do they try really hard and they never make me feel like im wrong for feeling how a feel,
wish ma friends had someone like that.
any way tooooooooooo tired to write any more.

Im ouT!!!

2007-12-12T21:07:00.000-08:00

TO MY BABY!!!!

Thank for for being the one

the one to make a difference in my life!!!

i cant explain it i just know it to be true,

(when everthing goes wrong, you make it right)

I LOVE YOU LESLEY!!!

GINUWINE

"Differences"

Oh, hey...

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah

To youMmm...mmm...mmm...

Oh, yeah, babe

My whole life has changed

Since you came in, I knew back then

You were that special one

I'm so in love, so deep in love

You make my life complete

You are so sweet, no one competes

Glad you came into my life

You blind me with your love, with you I have no sight

Girl, you open me, I'm wide open

And I'm doing things I never do

But I feel so good, I feel so good

Why it takes so long for me finding you

This is my story and I'm telling you

It's not fiction, it's surely a fact

Without you right here having my back

I really don't know just where I'd be at

My whole life has changed (My whole life has changed)

Since you came in, I knew back then (Ooh...oh...)

You were that special one (You were that)

I'm so in love, so deep in love

You make my life complete (You make, make my love complete)

You are so sweet (Oh, oh), no one competes

Glad you came into my life (Ooh...)

You blind me with your love, with you I have no sight

I analyzed myself, I was buck wild

Never thought about settling down

But all the time I knew I was ready

But not with all my friends around

But girl, I put you first now (I put you first now)

You made me, helped mold me (Helped mold me, baby)

Turned me into a man, I'm so responsible

And I owe it all to you

My whole life has changed (My whole life has changed)

Since you came in, I knew back then (Oh, oh)

You were that special one (You were that special one)

I'm so in love, so deep in love (Oh, oh, oh....)Y

ou make my life complete (You make my life complete)

You are so sweet, no one competes

Glad you came into my life (So glad you came in)

You blind me with your love (Blind me, baby),

with youI have no sight

{God has blessed me} God has blessed me, babyGirl,

He was good to me when He sent you

{I'm so happy, baby}I'm so happy, I'm so happy, baby, oh, yes, baby

{Share my world} Come and share my world, baby,

oh...whoa...yeah. yeah

{I'm so in love} I'm so in loveI'm addicted to your love, baby, yeah...

My whole life has changed (Oh, yes, I am)

Since you came in, I knew back then (Ooh)

You were that special one (You were that very, veryspecial one)

I'm so in love (You were that very, very special one),

so deep in love

You make my life complete (You make my life complete)

You are so sweet (Yes, you did, baby), no one competes

(No one competes, oh)

Glad you came into my life

You blind me with your love (Come on), with you

I have no sight

My whole life has changed (My whole life has changed)

Since you came in, I knew back then (You made a difference in my life)

You were that special one (I knew you were that special one)

I'm so in love, so deep in love (When I first laid eyes on you, babe)

You make my life complete (You make my life complete,darlin')

You are so sweet, no one competes (No one competes,baby)

Glad you came into my life (No one, no one)

You blind me with your love (No one),

with you I haveno sight (Come on)

My whole life has changed (Oh...whoa...whoa...whoa...)

Since you came in, I knew back then

2007-12-12T19:44:00.000-08:00

Typing my Heart out!!!

(Whats the deal)

i have no idea what to write,

i have no idea if its what i like

but how i feel, i know im right

so let me tell how i feel tonight

tired,exhausted, weak and weary

why the hell am i writing this, when no one can here me.

for when i speak my mind, im like a mime

words fall on deaf ears, i wonder who cares

is it the one that i love , my family or peers.

doesnt matter no one sees the tears.

but to be fair i shall write this, everyone has their own agenda

their own dreams to accomplish

therefore i shall hold my own, be my own wall

its stupid to phone ones self but who else to answer my call

they say that they care, i see their lips move and hear words unfold

but feel nothing , nothing but cold

i have tried my best, done all i can

but i know not how much more i can stand

i have made my promises and plan to keep them

no one has made made any, so how can they keep them?

no where to go no where to turn, body in emotional pieces ready to burn

this i how i feel, PAIN SORROW HEARTACHE

relief is partial seeking real comfort

i will be patient, i sit and wait.

for your action come on step up to the plate

i have made my request, said how i feel

my feeling are true, my feelings are real,

just wait on you to tell me whats the deal?